People say the darnedest things

The other day I was eating lunch and a guy who I have kind of made a special effort to be nice to (because he's an oddball) walked by and said, "At least you can eat. Huh hu hu ..." Being slightly thrown off I realized it was so bad that it cracked me up.

Or how about when people want to identify with me and start telling me about all the handicapped people they know. The one that riles me is the one about the guy who never gave up who is now walking, as if I just gave up and all I have to do is try harder. I thought of good retaliatory story. "My friend doesn't have to wear glasses anymore. It turns out he hadn't been trying to see hard enough. When he started opening his eyes every day for a month suddenly ..."

Top 10 handi-slams people say:

10. "You should use an electric chair."

9. "Hey, you have a pen sliding out of your pant leg..." (urine drain)

8. "You could sell tee shirts for me."

7. "Can you dial a telephone? We have a telemarketing position."

6. "She married you after your accident!?"

5. "I have a severely handicapped friend that looks about the same as you."

4. "We have special equipment for crippled people in the back."

3. "Do the police know that you are driving?"

2. "At least you can eat."

1. "What clobbered you?"

Most of these crack me up because they are so assuming.