I am home sick today with the flu. How wonderful it is to feel normal. I am patiently letting my body rest to get back to normal.
A sick quad can be an atrocious site. Not being able to make it to the can on time ... no need to say more. Yesterday was a real test of love for my wife, poor thing. She, with the help of my mother, kept me clean while I laid flat on my back all day as I tried to sleep it off. Today I am going to sit up for awhile but I plan to take some nice long naps as well.
I am home alone and I feel blue. Daytime television is basically worthless. I am getting tired already.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Read the label!
I came down with a cold last night. My nose was constantly dripping. I work at a hospital so I decided to go to the pharmacy to get just the right thing. It seems like every time I get a cold I can't remember which drug is best for a runny nose. There is pseudo epinephrine, a decongestant commonly called pseudophed, and then there are antihistamines. Antihistimines make one tired. So, when I got to the pharmacy I carefully explained to the man behind the counter that I had a runny nose and that I wanted something to dry it up without making me tired. He quickly spouted off "pseudophed". I paid the money, received the medication and promptly went to my desk where I read the instructions of how many to take and how often. I saw the word decongestant and thought about it for a second deciding to trust the pharmacist. Well that was a bad idea! My nose went from bad to worse. I had a normally runny nose that turned into a really runny nose.
After 2 hours using two handkerchiefs per minute I went back to the pharmacy and went right up to the guy who told me pseudophed was the thing I needed. Doing my best to refrain from being a jerk I calmly explained what had happened. Another pharmacist stepped in and told me it was exactly the opposite of what I needed. I was irked to say the least but I calmly purchased the product and left. I figured the embarrassment in front of his peers was more affective than me throwing a fit of some kind.
I went to the pharmacy to get advise because I have made this exact mistake before. The more I think about our initial interaction the more I think he didn't listen to what I was saying. He thought he knew the answer before I was done talking. Had I simply paid more attention to the label rather than trust the pharmacist I would have remedied the problem before it happened. Read the label!
After 2 hours using two handkerchiefs per minute I went back to the pharmacy and went right up to the guy who told me pseudophed was the thing I needed. Doing my best to refrain from being a jerk I calmly explained what had happened. Another pharmacist stepped in and told me it was exactly the opposite of what I needed. I was irked to say the least but I calmly purchased the product and left. I figured the embarrassment in front of his peers was more affective than me throwing a fit of some kind.
I went to the pharmacy to get advise because I have made this exact mistake before. The more I think about our initial interaction the more I think he didn't listen to what I was saying. He thought he knew the answer before I was done talking. Had I simply paid more attention to the label rather than trust the pharmacist I would have remedied the problem before it happened. Read the label!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Daring to overcome fear
I consider myself to be a very mobile C6 quadriplegic and I attribute much of my mobility to my daring to cross unsafe lines and boundaries. I remember the first time after my accident when two lifters lifted me onto a therapy mat. My therapist got behind me and sat me up by literally forcing my body upright with brute force. My feet were stretched out in front of me on the mat. He held and steadied me for a moment and checked to see if I had passed out, I had not. There are two reasons one can pass out, first it is so traumatizing that one feints, the other reason is because the blood leaves your head from sitting up to fast. My therapist slowly began to relieve his stabilizing grasp so I could begin to feel my paralyzed trunk basically fail to hold me up as if it were a bowl of jelly with no bowl. The exercise was the first to begin learning how to balance my bowl of jelly (trunk) upright. It was very strange and scary and I do remember feeling as if I might pass out. More importantly, it was the moment I realized, "I am so paralyzed I can't sit up without falling uncontrollably down!" After about a week of daily practice for hours at a time I was able to sit there and keep myself upright by planting my hands in the right positions. The therapist was sitting there ready to catch me if I got daring and decided to try to move a hand 6 inches.
After learning to sit on the mat, the next step is to sit upright on the edge of the mat with your feet touching the floor, it is called long siting if I remember correctly. Now, this is much scarier because when your body and feet are up on the mat you only fall over on the mat, not far. When your butt is on the edge of the mat and your legs are going over the side with your feet touching the floor, it is a LONG way down if you fall; you are pretty much going to get hurt if you fall. This was one of the fist lines I crossed that many never do. It was really scary and quite difficult to learn how to balance and feel safe when you are literally on the edge of danger. I would compare it to sitting on the edge of a 15 foot wall for those who are not paralyzed, and add a 60 pound backpack packed top heavy (pull of gravity simulates no trunk muscles). Slipping and falling 15 feet is survivable but potentially serious if you land wrong. The consequence of not succeeding with long siting is never being able to transfer yourself to a wheelchair. This is huge because it implies you'll be reliant on people or special equipment to lift you a minimum of 4 times a day for the rest of your life.
Manipulating (sliding) your butt from the mat to the wheelchair is the next huge step. Add to log sitting keeping yourself balanced while letting go with one hand and shifting your weight around a lot. Very very scary and challenging for any C6 in their right mind.
There are several steps I have skipped that are difficult to do but not necessarily scary or dangerous, each step was critical and took a lot of time and practice. One is rolling from your back to your side (I still have to fight to simply roll from my back to my side, nightly). The next is uprighting yourself from your side. And the next is moving your legs around and sliding your butt from where you are laying (bed) over to the edge into the long sitting position.
I don't know what the real statistics are, but I would venture to guess that approximately 20% of the textbook C6s (without triceps) can independently transfer into/out of their wheelchair. I was young, daring, strong, and determined when I accomplished the seemingly impossible. One of the other reasons I believe that I succeeded was my competitive spirit. I saw a fellow quad do it and therefore knew I would succeed. The thing I didn't know until later is that his injury was C7 and that he had much more functionality than I did. I am glad I didn't know.
Daring to conquer the edge was the first of many scary challenges that enabled huge doors to open in this quads C6 adventure. Daring to try new and enabling things has been an essential key to making progress in my life. It has taken literally over a thousand tries to get good at some of them. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is not to give up too fast. There are unconquered challenges waiting to be conquered, most of them just take time and persistence.
After learning to sit on the mat, the next step is to sit upright on the edge of the mat with your feet touching the floor, it is called long siting if I remember correctly. Now, this is much scarier because when your body and feet are up on the mat you only fall over on the mat, not far. When your butt is on the edge of the mat and your legs are going over the side with your feet touching the floor, it is a LONG way down if you fall; you are pretty much going to get hurt if you fall. This was one of the fist lines I crossed that many never do. It was really scary and quite difficult to learn how to balance and feel safe when you are literally on the edge of danger. I would compare it to sitting on the edge of a 15 foot wall for those who are not paralyzed, and add a 60 pound backpack packed top heavy (pull of gravity simulates no trunk muscles). Slipping and falling 15 feet is survivable but potentially serious if you land wrong. The consequence of not succeeding with long siting is never being able to transfer yourself to a wheelchair. This is huge because it implies you'll be reliant on people or special equipment to lift you a minimum of 4 times a day for the rest of your life.
Manipulating (sliding) your butt from the mat to the wheelchair is the next huge step. Add to log sitting keeping yourself balanced while letting go with one hand and shifting your weight around a lot. Very very scary and challenging for any C6 in their right mind.
There are several steps I have skipped that are difficult to do but not necessarily scary or dangerous, each step was critical and took a lot of time and practice. One is rolling from your back to your side (I still have to fight to simply roll from my back to my side, nightly). The next is uprighting yourself from your side. And the next is moving your legs around and sliding your butt from where you are laying (bed) over to the edge into the long sitting position.
I don't know what the real statistics are, but I would venture to guess that approximately 20% of the textbook C6s (without triceps) can independently transfer into/out of their wheelchair. I was young, daring, strong, and determined when I accomplished the seemingly impossible. One of the other reasons I believe that I succeeded was my competitive spirit. I saw a fellow quad do it and therefore knew I would succeed. The thing I didn't know until later is that his injury was C7 and that he had much more functionality than I did. I am glad I didn't know.
Daring to conquer the edge was the first of many scary challenges that enabled huge doors to open in this quads C6 adventure. Daring to try new and enabling things has been an essential key to making progress in my life. It has taken literally over a thousand tries to get good at some of them. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is not to give up too fast. There are unconquered challenges waiting to be conquered, most of them just take time and persistence.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Rediscovered
Time flies! Life gets busy and the next thing you know it is 5 months later! It is the 4th of July and I have a little free-time so I started cleaning/organizing the computer when I rediscovered this blog I started. I read through my previous blogs and enjoyed reminding myself of what I was thinking. So I am going to make an effort to keep writing.
I am now 39 and life is great. I get scared when life is "too good to be true" because I am usually right. I am in the fortunate position of being healthy, happily married, happily employed, and we have sufficient money for our needs. So I am preparing myself for the next challenge that will make life more stressful. I wonder what it will be?
What is next? I have recently settled for somewhat of what I view as a setback in my career. There is less stress and the money is sill the same, but I am actually much happier. The position I left was surrounded by unsuccessful people that had power, a bad combination. Right now I feel I am in a holding pattern waiting for the right opportunity. My gut feeling is that something fairly big is going to happen to me career-wise within the next year.
Another thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is how to handle pan handlers/beggars. My wife and I decided to go to two public places this week and in both instances we were cornered and approached by desperate acting men who asked us for money. I say acting because it appears to me that they are putting on an act. I really don't carry cash, so I let each of them know and moved on uncomfortably. Ironically they were both disgusted at us like we were being cheap by turning them down. After the first incident we came back out to the parking lot where we had parked and been approached and found our car violently keyed. It makes me curious. Is there something about us that looks rich and/or sympathetic? Is it because I am in a wheelchair? If anything I feel the opposite. It angers me that someone with complete capability wastes their time begging. I don't say no because I won't part with the money, I say no because I don't feel like I am helping them by giving them money. In fact, I feel I am enabling them to not take action in their lives. If begging doesn't work then they will have to resort to something else, hopefully something more productive rather than crime.
I value how my mother made me accountable for my actions. There was no "I'll save you when you make bad decisions". It was more like, "Oh no Rick, the mess you made is going to be hard and painful to clean up".
I am now 39 and life is great. I get scared when life is "too good to be true" because I am usually right. I am in the fortunate position of being healthy, happily married, happily employed, and we have sufficient money for our needs. So I am preparing myself for the next challenge that will make life more stressful. I wonder what it will be?
What is next? I have recently settled for somewhat of what I view as a setback in my career. There is less stress and the money is sill the same, but I am actually much happier. The position I left was surrounded by unsuccessful people that had power, a bad combination. Right now I feel I am in a holding pattern waiting for the right opportunity. My gut feeling is that something fairly big is going to happen to me career-wise within the next year.
Another thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is how to handle pan handlers/beggars. My wife and I decided to go to two public places this week and in both instances we were cornered and approached by desperate acting men who asked us for money. I say acting because it appears to me that they are putting on an act. I really don't carry cash, so I let each of them know and moved on uncomfortably. Ironically they were both disgusted at us like we were being cheap by turning them down. After the first incident we came back out to the parking lot where we had parked and been approached and found our car violently keyed. It makes me curious. Is there something about us that looks rich and/or sympathetic? Is it because I am in a wheelchair? If anything I feel the opposite. It angers me that someone with complete capability wastes their time begging. I don't say no because I won't part with the money, I say no because I don't feel like I am helping them by giving them money. In fact, I feel I am enabling them to not take action in their lives. If begging doesn't work then they will have to resort to something else, hopefully something more productive rather than crime.
I value how my mother made me accountable for my actions. There was no "I'll save you when you make bad decisions". It was more like, "Oh no Rick, the mess you made is going to be hard and painful to clean up".
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Heavy Laden
I have been thinking a lot about the impact my disability has on others who are around me, and especially my wife. I am depressed because I have come to the realization that it is a much bigger impact on her than I had wanted it to be or understood it to be.
Traveling exacerbates the problem. We just got back from the Caribbean and I sensed my disability was disabling her as well. Nothing bugs me more than when my disability disables others. I am going to encourage her to go on some trips with her family and or friends.
Traveling exacerbates the problem. We just got back from the Caribbean and I sensed my disability was disabling her as well. Nothing bugs me more than when my disability disables others. I am going to encourage her to go on some trips with her family and or friends.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Weighing in
I find it is important to weigh in. It is important for a C6 to be weight conscious. That 15% of muscle that is not paralyzed carries a big load already! Need to stay light on our hands (or feet for others).
C6's can vary a lot in how they get around. I personally can transfer and choose to push a sporty manual chair versus a power chair. Power chairs are nice and I once used one in college to get around campus. As my arms are getting chronically sore after almost 17 years of manual chair usage I am considering using one part-time. I am afraid I am going to gain weight and get out of shape if I do. Everything else follows and my level of independence could start to slip, which is really not an option for me. This one needs to be decided cautiously.
I enjoy being in shape and working out, but as I age I set aside less and less time for it. And yes, I am 15 lbs heavier than was when I worked out diligently a few years ago. I have been as high as 25 lbs heavier. When I could not wear shoes any longer because my fee were so fat I decided it was time to weigh in at Weight Watchers. I lost a solid 20 lbs and some has crept back on. Wait, are my number correct? I weighed 170 in college and crept up to 200 by the time I was about 35. I got down to 178 for 2-3 years and am now back up to about 188. When I got married and stopped working out the weight started piling up.
I notice it in my feet and in my waist line. My shoes vary from normal mens shoes to EEE wide based on what my weight was when I bought them. C6's usually suffer from edema in their feet and ankles. The more chubby I am the worse it is.
So I find that it is important to weigh in. It is a direct measure of my level of independence. Eat right, feel right, do right.
C6's can vary a lot in how they get around. I personally can transfer and choose to push a sporty manual chair versus a power chair. Power chairs are nice and I once used one in college to get around campus. As my arms are getting chronically sore after almost 17 years of manual chair usage I am considering using one part-time. I am afraid I am going to gain weight and get out of shape if I do. Everything else follows and my level of independence could start to slip, which is really not an option for me. This one needs to be decided cautiously.
I enjoy being in shape and working out, but as I age I set aside less and less time for it. And yes, I am 15 lbs heavier than was when I worked out diligently a few years ago. I have been as high as 25 lbs heavier. When I could not wear shoes any longer because my fee were so fat I decided it was time to weigh in at Weight Watchers. I lost a solid 20 lbs and some has crept back on. Wait, are my number correct? I weighed 170 in college and crept up to 200 by the time I was about 35. I got down to 178 for 2-3 years and am now back up to about 188. When I got married and stopped working out the weight started piling up.
I notice it in my feet and in my waist line. My shoes vary from normal mens shoes to EEE wide based on what my weight was when I bought them. C6's usually suffer from edema in their feet and ankles. The more chubby I am the worse it is.
So I find that it is important to weigh in. It is a direct measure of my level of independence. Eat right, feel right, do right.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Good service is the key to sanity
As a C6 there are quite a few challenges to daily living. Simple things like getting milk out of the refrigerator or making a bowl of soup can turn out to be a disaster in a hurry. If you are a C6 you know exactly what I mean. If you aren't a C6 and are interested to know what it is like, try making a meal from a wheelchair with a pair of boxing gloves on and a 50 lb. sack hanging around your neck. The 50 lb sack is a simulation of what it is like to not have trunk muscles and the gloves are to simulate paralyzed hands with minimal functionality. You will need to concentrate on balancing and keeping your posture exactly right to stay upright all while trying to get a bottle of milk from a shelf that you can barely reach.
It takes a long time to master/relearn skills that have been lost in an a serious accident. I firmly believe that I need to try something literally a hundred times before I determine if it something worth continuing, "Repetition is the mother of learning". Although it is a real downer when you realize repetition isn't working.
There is this two year mark that people talk about that is the supposed "you have whatever you are going to get back" deadline. For me two years was actually pretty close to that. After struggling and striving for strength and learning how to use a handicapped body one becomes settled and somewhat accustomed. Think about this, when did you decide whether or not you are/were a good artist? You probably had an art class in elementary or jr. high school. If you considered yourself good then you still probably do. If you considered yourself not very good then it is likely that you have stayed away from it and when people ask, you respond based on your early experiences. Well, same with paralysis. At some point around two years people have made their decisions about what is doable and what is not. Some folks are ambitious and others may be less so. When someone decides they can't do something they are correct even if the only reason they can't is because they decided they can't.
When you figure out what your limits are finding good service to fill in the gaps of things you can't do is key to keeping yourself sane. Surround yourself with people who are eager and willing to help out with things that can be disastrous. Some people have a way of making me feel like I am burdening them by asking for help, and some love to be helpful and it makes them feel good to help a guy who is trying an fumbling. Surround yourself with the latter!
As I watch my C6 comrades, I notice some are too comfortable ordering their loved ones around. Nobody wants to be this guy, but it can happen to us without realizing it. So what is the art? First, you have to establish that the person who is helping you has a proper amount of time to accomplish what you are asking them to help you with. Second, I always make sure they are comfortable with the task at hand. Third, your manner and attitude in asking has to be sincere. Fourth, you need to have patience toward their effort. Have you ever had someone ask you to do them a favor that you gladly performed only to be chastised by the same person for not performing the task exactly the way they thought it should have been done but never communicated? I don't know about you but it doesn't motivate me to continue. On the other hand, when they are grateful it is a pleasant and repeatable experience. Without a doubt I am guilty of my own examples, but I do my best to be always grateful.
Darn, I am getting tired. Advice: find and hire good help but don't burn out your caretakers. Of course that assumes you have money to pay for it. Go to college so you can pay for all this.
Cheers
It takes a long time to master/relearn skills that have been lost in an a serious accident. I firmly believe that I need to try something literally a hundred times before I determine if it something worth continuing, "Repetition is the mother of learning". Although it is a real downer when you realize repetition isn't working.
There is this two year mark that people talk about that is the supposed "you have whatever you are going to get back" deadline. For me two years was actually pretty close to that. After struggling and striving for strength and learning how to use a handicapped body one becomes settled and somewhat accustomed. Think about this, when did you decide whether or not you are/were a good artist? You probably had an art class in elementary or jr. high school. If you considered yourself good then you still probably do. If you considered yourself not very good then it is likely that you have stayed away from it and when people ask, you respond based on your early experiences. Well, same with paralysis. At some point around two years people have made their decisions about what is doable and what is not. Some folks are ambitious and others may be less so. When someone decides they can't do something they are correct even if the only reason they can't is because they decided they can't.
When you figure out what your limits are finding good service to fill in the gaps of things you can't do is key to keeping yourself sane. Surround yourself with people who are eager and willing to help out with things that can be disastrous. Some people have a way of making me feel like I am burdening them by asking for help, and some love to be helpful and it makes them feel good to help a guy who is trying an fumbling. Surround yourself with the latter!
As I watch my C6 comrades, I notice some are too comfortable ordering their loved ones around. Nobody wants to be this guy, but it can happen to us without realizing it. So what is the art? First, you have to establish that the person who is helping you has a proper amount of time to accomplish what you are asking them to help you with. Second, I always make sure they are comfortable with the task at hand. Third, your manner and attitude in asking has to be sincere. Fourth, you need to have patience toward their effort. Have you ever had someone ask you to do them a favor that you gladly performed only to be chastised by the same person for not performing the task exactly the way they thought it should have been done but never communicated? I don't know about you but it doesn't motivate me to continue. On the other hand, when they are grateful it is a pleasant and repeatable experience. Without a doubt I am guilty of my own examples, but I do my best to be always grateful.
Darn, I am getting tired. Advice: find and hire good help but don't burn out your caretakers. Of course that assumes you have money to pay for it. Go to college so you can pay for all this.
Cheers
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Hello world!
"Hello world" is a software engineers first program that just says, "Hello world", to indicate that the program is doing something. So this is my hello world blog entry!
I am a C5-6 quadriplegic. Therapists tell me I am a C6, although I broke C5 & C6 (my neck) on May 12th of 1990 at Lake Powell (Utah). C6 is the abbreviation of cervical vertebrae 6, or the 6th vertebrate down from the skull. This is the first thing people wonder when they meet or see me so I thought I would get that out first thing. I am in a wheelchair and my back is starting to curve slightly after 16 years of quadriplegia although I am still pretty darn handsome (if you ask me). I was 22 at the time, and I am now nearly 39. I'll tell more about the whole event at a later time.
The purpose of this blog is to provide hopefully useful information about C6 quadriplegia to other quads or others who have friends or family members that have a similar injury. I'll probably babel about other non-related things too, but what inspired me to start this blog is a Caribbean cruise I just returned from. I thought it would be useful to tell other C6 quads what to expect when they go on voyages like this. I had a great time, but felt misled by the cruise line and their so-called wheelchair accessible excursions. "Well, if you can climb six steps up a ladder then this excursion is wheelchair accessible." People need to know this kind of information.
Disclaimer:
I am not an English major and neither was my mom so I'll do my best to spell well and complete my sentences with proper grammar, but this is my formal disclaimer right here that gives me the freedom to make mistakes :).
Unfortunately I will need to cut this first one short because my wife gave me one of those ultimatums like wives do a few minutes ago. Yes, she married me after the accident, more on that later too. A great catch she is. Married to a C6, she ought to have a blog of her own.
Cheers!
I am a C5-6 quadriplegic. Therapists tell me I am a C6, although I broke C5 & C6 (my neck) on May 12th of 1990 at Lake Powell (Utah). C6 is the abbreviation of cervical vertebrae 6, or the 6th vertebrate down from the skull. This is the first thing people wonder when they meet or see me so I thought I would get that out first thing. I am in a wheelchair and my back is starting to curve slightly after 16 years of quadriplegia although I am still pretty darn handsome (if you ask me). I was 22 at the time, and I am now nearly 39. I'll tell more about the whole event at a later time.
The purpose of this blog is to provide hopefully useful information about C6 quadriplegia to other quads or others who have friends or family members that have a similar injury. I'll probably babel about other non-related things too, but what inspired me to start this blog is a Caribbean cruise I just returned from. I thought it would be useful to tell other C6 quads what to expect when they go on voyages like this. I had a great time, but felt misled by the cruise line and their so-called wheelchair accessible excursions. "Well, if you can climb six steps up a ladder then this excursion is wheelchair accessible." People need to know this kind of information.
Disclaimer:
I am not an English major and neither was my mom so I'll do my best to spell well and complete my sentences with proper grammar, but this is my formal disclaimer right here that gives me the freedom to make mistakes :).
Unfortunately I will need to cut this first one short because my wife gave me one of those ultimatums like wives do a few minutes ago. Yes, she married me after the accident, more on that later too. A great catch she is. Married to a C6, she ought to have a blog of her own.
Cheers!
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