Good service is the key to sanity

As a C6 there are quite a few challenges to daily living. Simple things like getting milk out of the refrigerator or making a bowl of soup can turn out to be a disaster in a hurry. If you are a C6 you know exactly what I mean. If you aren't a C6 and are interested to know what it is like, try making a meal from a wheelchair with a pair of boxing gloves on and a 50 lb. sack hanging around your neck. The 50 lb sack is a simulation of what it is like to not have trunk muscles and the gloves are to simulate paralyzed hands with minimal functionality. You will need to concentrate on balancing and keeping your posture exactly right to stay upright all while trying to get a bottle of milk from a shelf that you can barely reach.

It takes a long time to master/relearn skills that have been lost in an a serious accident. I firmly believe that I need to try something literally a hundred times before I determine if it something worth continuing, "Repetition is the mother of learning". Although it is a real downer when you realize repetition isn't working.

There is this two year mark that people talk about that is the supposed "you have whatever you are going to get back" deadline. For me two years was actually pretty close to that. After struggling and striving for strength and learning how to use a handicapped body one becomes settled and somewhat accustomed. Think about this, when did you decide whether or not you are/were a good artist? You probably had an art class in elementary or jr. high school. If you considered yourself good then you still probably do. If you considered yourself not very good then it is likely that you have stayed away from it and when people ask, you respond based on your early experiences. Well, same with paralysis. At some point around two years people have made their decisions about what is doable and what is not. Some folks are ambitious and others may be less so. When someone decides they can't do something they are correct even if the only reason they can't is because they decided they can't.

When you figure out what your limits are finding good service to fill in the gaps of things you can't do is key to keeping yourself sane. Surround yourself with people who are eager and willing to help out with things that can be disastrous. Some people have a way of making me feel like I am burdening them by asking for help, and some love to be helpful and it makes them feel good to help a guy who is trying an fumbling. Surround yourself with the latter!

As I watch my C6 comrades, I notice some are too comfortable ordering their loved ones around. Nobody wants to be this guy, but it can happen to us without realizing it. So what is the art? First, you have to establish that the person who is helping you has a proper amount of time to accomplish what you are asking them to help you with. Second, I always make sure they are comfortable with the task at hand. Third, your manner and attitude in asking has to be sincere. Fourth, you need to have patience toward their effort. Have you ever had someone ask you to do them a favor that you gladly performed only to be chastised by the same person for not performing the task exactly the way they thought it should have been done but never communicated? I don't know about you but it doesn't motivate me to continue. On the other hand, when they are grateful it is a pleasant and repeatable experience. Without a doubt I am guilty of my own examples, but I do my best to be always grateful.

Darn, I am getting tired. Advice: find and hire good help but don't burn out your caretakers. Of course that assumes you have money to pay for it. Go to college so you can pay for all this.

Cheers